


“Stay Alive, For Me”

by fangirl_haven



Category: My Hero Academia
Genre: ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorder, F/M, Reader is sad, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, hawks is my comfort charactet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27559597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_haven/pseuds/fangirl_haven
Summary: Y/n was cursed being quirkless in a society where quirks were normal. Not to mention the atrocity that was her mental health. She was just a girl trying to survive in a cruel world, alone. Until her best friend starts to melt his way into her life. Maybe she could do this?
Relationships: Hawks/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	“Stay Alive, For Me”

**Author's Note:**

> THERE WILL BE TRIGGERING CONTENT  
> This is a serious warning-there will be graphic and detailed descriptions of triggering situations such as anorexia, self harm, abuse, and suicidal ideations. Please if you have any doubts about reading this don’t. Take this trigger warning seriously please. 
> 
> *All characters in my works (unless otherwise stated) do not belong to me and belong to their respective writers*

Being quirkless in a society where quirks were normal was hard. Depressing. Inconvenient. Frustrating, but mostly, embarrassing. Most of your friends, most of whom had quirks, didn’t look at you any differently, but you did. You had wished you had been blessed with a quirk, even if it wasn’t that flashy. You tried not to dwell on the fact that you were unfortunately born normal, or abnormal according to the rest of society. Instead you tried to make the most of your boring life with college and work, which is where you were heading at the moment. You preferred to walk, as walking calmed you and allowed you to think. Though you were “normal” that did not keep you from succumbing to a plethora of mental illnesses, one of them being ADHD. Your ADHD was terrible, even being the cause of you forgetting to go to the bathroom sometimes. Walking allowed you to gain some control over the chaos in your head. You had your headphones in, listening to your new favorite kpop song of the week, the feeling of someone tapping on your shoulder pulling a high pitched squeak from you. You yanked out your headphones, a hand balling into a first before throwing your best punch at you assailant.  
“Fuck kid!”   
“Hawks?!”   
“Well, yeah, who did you think it was?”  
“A creep?” You murmured, biting your lip. “Did I hurt you Keigo?” You asked softly.   
“Hurt me? Don’t flatter yourself too much.” he chuckled. “You just surprised me- you pack a nice punch for such a small kid,” he added.  
“Kid? Really Keigo? I’m 22, only a year younger than you,” you breathed. He had moved his hands from his nose, which looked a little red but seemed fine. “I’m sorry for punching you,” you said quietly. “You scared me, I thought you were a stranger,” Keigo softened slightly at that, a hand resting on your shoulder.  
“I know,” he said with a nod. He had been the first one you told about your history of assault and sexual abuse. In the end you had to talk him down from killing someone, including your own father. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but maybe don’t wear headphones,” he said with the crooked grin you loved.  
“It helps me think, you know that!” You said with a smile, pushing him playfully. He chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.   
“I know kid, where you heading to? Work? Or Class?” He asked, walking with you.  
“Class,” you answered. “Shouldn’t you be on patrol?”   
“Nah, not today. I can bug you all day now,” he said smugly, You groaned in mock annoyance.  
“Bring some wine, it sounds like I’m gonna need it tonight.”  
“Who said I’d be coming to your place?” Hawks asked with a chuckle.  
“You’re not?” You said, looking at him. A faint blush covered his cheeks as he chuckled.  
“I’m kidding, it’s movie night on my off days.”   
“That’s what I thought. Wine.”  
“Noted,” he said with a smile. The two of you walked in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. You felt most at ease with Hawks, and you had grown very fond of him. So much so that it scared you. You didn’t think he felt the same about you. He was the number 2 hero and he could have anyone her wanted, guy or girl. Why would he settle for someone like you, a quirkless nobody.  
“You seem quiet,” he said, the hand that rested on your shoulder tapping you lightly.   
“I’m thinking, am I not allowed to think now?” You asked with a smile.  
“Thinking can be dangerous,” he said with a chuckle.   
“Only if you don’t do it enough, you should try it more often,” Hawks gasped after your statement, following it with a chuckle.   
“That was a good one if I do say so myself,”  
“Yeah I’m pretty proud of myself for that one.”  
“What are you doing for lunch?” Hawks questioned. Your stomach dropped slightly at that, you hadn’t been eating well. Your depression had been pretty ugly the past week and your hadn’t had the time or the energy to eat much between your manic adulting.   
“I had a pretty big breakfast this morning, I’ll probably just grab a snack.” You said offhandedly.  
“Y/n,” hawks said softly, “You didn’t eat breakfast this morning,” he said. Your face drained, choosing to not meet his eyes.   
“You don’t know that,”  
“I do y/n. Come to lunch with me.”   
“Keigo,”  
“Please? It’ll be like a friend date. Don’t make me go alone.”  
“You promise you won't make me eat?”  
“I promise I won’t make you uncomfortable.”  
“Keigo,”  
“Would you promise me you wouldn’t make me shower if I didn’t shower?”  
“Well, no bu-”  
“Exactly. Will you come to lunch with me?” You sighed, looking at him. He was pouting in the cutest way, pulling a blush from you.   
“I guess, sure.” He smiled at your response.  
“Great, ramen?” Your mouth watered at the suggestion. He was playing dirty, he knew you’d never turn down ramen, no matter how depressed you were. You sighed, giving him a slightly annoyed look.  
“Why not,” you said with a nod. You phone pinged interrupting your conversation.  
Hey kid, your mother and I were wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner sometime. We haven't seen you in so long. You shuddered slightly, a knot forming in your stomach. You took a breath, deciding whether you should respond or not. You shook your head to yourself and slipped your phone back in your pocket, you would respond later you told yourself.   
“Do you need a hug?”   
“What?”   
“You look like you need a hug,” Hawks said with a grin, “you never turn down my hugs,” he added, opening his arms to you. You blushed slightly, stepping into his arms. You wrapped your arms around his waist, careful of his wings. You relaxed into his warmth, taking a deep breath of his unique scent. He rubbed his hand on your back, wings moving slightly around the two of you. “You’re gonna be okay kid,” he said softly. You gave him a gentle squeeze, before stepping back slightly.   
“You’re gonna make me late,” you said with a smile, shouldering your backpack.   
“Wouldn’t wanna do that, I’ll let you go then. See you later?” He questioned slightly, looking at you hopefully.   
“For lunch,” you said, giving him an awkward finger gun, pulling a chuckle from him. You watched as he shot off into the sky, a small smile gracing your face.   
\---------------  
You sat in class, mind wandering more than you cared to admit. Your father’s text had shaken you more than you thought it would. You hadn’t spoken to him in a year, but you hadn’t dealt with the fact that he had touched you, multiple times. You hadn’t dealt with the fact of how disgusted you felt in your own skin. You haven’t dealt with anything in your life, how many men had taken advantage of you. And somehow in your head it was still your fault. And he had the audacity to invite you to dinner. After he molested you, and your own mother questioned if you wanted it. You could feel you face burning, not from embarrassment but from the oncoming tears of anger and despair. Quickly you signed out to use the restroom, practically running and locking yourself in a stall. Your hands shook as you sat on the floor, finally letting your tears fall. Your hands found their way into your hair, pulling harshly. Your tears scared you, you had tried so hard to put on a front and it all seemed to be falling apart. The harder you pulled the sooner you would finish crying. You knew this was no better than cutting yourself and you were really trying to get better.   
Reaching for your phone before you chickened out you dialed Keigo’s number, listening as it rang.  
“Hey kid you’re not gonna cancel on me are ya?” Came his cheerful voice.  
“Keigo,” you breathed softly. You sniffled, wiping your eyes trying to stop the tears. “Keigo, I’m not okay,” you breathed softly.  
“I know kid,” he responded. “You wanna talk about it?” You shook your head, only remembering he couldn't see you.  
“Can you just talk to me?” You asked, voice still shaking. You heard rustling on the other end which must’ve been him getting situated. “About anything,” you added.  
“Yeah, I can talk to you as long as you want,” He said, his voice bringing you comfort. You weren’t paying full attention to him, only slightly listening to him talk to you about a new series he started watching. But you did find that your breathing had calmed down at his voice, and your tears had stopped. You didn’t know how long you sat there listening to him, and didn’t think about it until he got your attention. “Are you okay kid?” He asked gently.  
“You know you can call me y/n right?” You asked gently.  
“Everyone calls you y/n.”  
“Because that’s my name,” you said with a weak giggle.  
“But I wanna be special,” he practically whined to you.  
“You are Kei,” you breathed softly. “You really are.”   
“I know,” he said and you could hear the smile in his voice. “Wanna head to lunch a little early?”   
“Sure yeah, that sounds good,” class had let out already so you only had to grab your backpack. You waved your teacher off as she asked if you were okay, telling her you were fine and heading off campus to lunch.   
Hawks met you outside of your school, holding a fake rose in his hand.  
“What’s this?” You asked with a smile.   
“It’s for you,” he said. “I know you don’t like the smell of real flowers so I got you a fake one, you know to make you feel better.” you blushed at the item, taking it from his hand with a happy grin.   
“Thanks Kei,” you said looking up at him fondly. The two of you walked together to lunch, and he held the door open for you. You both took your seats and ordered, Hawks leaning back slightly in his booth. He had been watching you closely, and you began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.  
“You’re staring into my soul Keigo,” you breathed.   
“Go out with me?” He asked, blushing slightly.  
“What?” You breathed softly.  
“Would you like to go out with me?” He asked a bit more directly.  
“Like date you……….you’re asking me, if I want to date you? Keigo, is this a joke?” You asked, looking at him. He looked pained at your response, frowning slightly.  
“Why would you-”  
“Hawks, you’re a hero, and I’m a...well I’m a nobody. Why would you want to go out with me?” You asked quietly.  
“Y/n” you didn’t look up at him, feeling that you were about to cry again. “y/n look at me.” he said a bit more stern. With a sigh you looked to him, not sure what you wanted to hear. “You’re not a nobody y/n. If you haven’t noticed I spend most of, if not all my off time with you. I’m surprised you hadn’t caught on yet, with how observant you are. You mean the world to me, and I really like you. I want to be the person you come to when you’re having a bad day. I want to cuddle you, and hold you, and give you stupid gifts because to me, you’re everything.” You weren’t sure when you started crying, but you bit your lip to hold your tears back. “Please kid?” He asked, giving you a cute pout. You laughed at his face, wiping your watery eyes.   
“I guess Keigo,” you said.  
“You guess? It’s that much of a chore for you to date the one and only Hawks?” He asked with a chuckle. You smiled, glad that you didn’t feel like crying as much right now, and happy to see your ramen. You looked at the bowl in front of you, biting your lip nervously. Hawks placed his hand over yours, “It’s okay.” He said. “You deserve to eat food,” he added, starting to eat his own. With a sigh, you started to eat, mostly nibbling at this point. “How was class?” He questioned softly.  
“I don’t really remember, I was kind’ve out of it.”  
“Because of that text?” You inhaled sharply but nodded. “You already know, I’d beat his ass any day,” he said offhandedly.  
“Kei, we already talked about this,” you said with a laugh. Kei chuckled softly, giving her hand a squeeze.   
“I mean it, I would do just about anything for you,” he added softly.  
“I know,” she said with a nod, her eyes meeting his. “I know you would.”  
“Can I- can I kiss you?” He asked softly. Her eyes fell to his lips, biting her own. She hadn’t dated years before everything that happened with her father, but she did miss the touch of another person. She nodded slowly, watching him intently as he came to sit next to her. “You know I’d never hurt you,” he said softly, thumb brushing her cheek.   
“I know,” she breathed, almost so soft he didn’t hear it. She held her breath as he leaned forward, his lips meeting her gently in a chaste kiss. He began to pull away, too soon for her liking. She pulled him in for another kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck. He seemed surprised by the action, moving carefully.  
“Kei,” she breathed softly against his lips.   
“You’re killing me here kid,” he chuckled, shaking his head. He moved his bowl in front of him, deciding to sit next to her instead of across. She moved slightly so he could stretch out his wings a bit more.   
“I liked that.” she said softly. “The kiss,” she added for clarification. He smiled softly.  
“I did too.”


End file.
